After 5 months and 3 weeks at home with my baby, the time has finally come for me to be a working mother.
First, let me preface this by saying, I have the absolute best job in the entire world. I get to teach children music—how awesome is that! Even still, the thought of leaving my baby terrified me, for months and months. In fact, almost every day of my maternity leave, I thought about and dreaded the day that my “time with her would end” and how I would be back. at. work.
*side note–your time doesn’t end with your baby just because you work. your baby is still your baby, and always will be. It might mean you don’t spend every waking second with him/her, but it does NOT mean, your “time has ended.” I repeat: YOUR TIME HAS NOT ENDED. It has just changed! Let that bring you some comfort when reflecting about how you’ll transition.
The few weeks prior to starting back work, this verse kept coming on my heart:
Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people.
The first part of the verse, really struct home with me: “do everything without complaining….”
I decided to do a little challenge for myself, as weird as that may sound. I called it:
“21 days without complaining”
and let me just say, it was life changing, and it caused my transition into working motherhood more seamless that I ever thought possible.
Here’s what happened when I went 21 days without complaining:
- I didn’t last one day without complaining. ha. Just being honest. But that being said, simply being intentional about not complaining changed my outlook on life, my attitude, and my demeanor.
- I learned grace. I had to realize that there is grace upon grace upon grace. Grace for myself for messing up. Grace for another chance. Even when I slipped up, and complained about something, I didn’t let that cause me to give up. I strived to continue to “do everything without complaining..” I wasn’t going to let the enemy slip in my mind, and tell me, “Oh you messed up, why bother.” “You can’t even make your own goals.” No. I accepted grace. I accepted I am not perfect, but I would continue to strive to be like Christ.
- My heart turned into a heart full of thankfulness, instead of a heart full of want. How could I pine and long for more, for not having enough, for not being thankful for all of the amazing blessings God has given me? Sure, I miss my baby during the day. But I don’t dwell on it and I don’t pity myself. I have a beautiful family and a Savior who loves me more than I could ever comprehend. So how much more do I need? There are literally mothers out there who are living in 3rd world countries, who are up at night worried about if their baby is going survive. And I am going to be all “Oh, woe is me I have to get up and go to work today” ? No. “In everything, give thanks…”
So, be at peace, working mamas. The LORD is with you, and will be with you in this season. I challenge you to be intentional about not complaining, and wait + see what the LORD does.